You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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