I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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