the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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