True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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