oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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