Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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