I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
