We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
