Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
someone owes me an orgasm
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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