I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
