umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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