No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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