Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
