we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize