how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize