If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
