is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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