once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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