nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
