Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
