No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
