one might say we're banned from that church
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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