You really coming over, don't trick.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
