it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
