I feel like abortions should bother me more
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
