Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
