Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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