I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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