Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
