...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
