Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
