It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
