I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
