how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
