He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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