I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
