hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She told me I should be a condom model.
There r osticjed everywhere
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
