She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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