In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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