I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
