I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
