Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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