dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Be still, my beating vagina.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
