he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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