I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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