Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
how does that bad decision feel?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
