plz talk dirty to me
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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