but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
