Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
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I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
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Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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