did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I pour the whiskey from now on
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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