if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
