That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
