The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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