There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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