big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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