Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You are a genius and a whore.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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