i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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