I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
