Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
