i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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