I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
