I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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