WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
