question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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