i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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