If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
